Help

Mike was taking some time off from the gatherings to just chill . . . .what better way than mine?  A small investment in a venture and then he was among the belts quietly shooting asteroids.

The peace and quiet was good for about an hour then he creaved some interaction.  What better way than to bring up the most active yet focussed channel he knew of,  The Help Channel.

Questions came and went and he watched and sorted the participants into categories.  New Player, industrialist, new pos owner, and then there was the Helper.  The guy who seemed to be on there to provide swift correct answers.  Mike thought back and realized that this guy had been around for years, literally.  He had been there every time Mike dropped in to help.

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Lessons

A quick note later and I had the list of some of the most common questions asked in the channel (in no particular order)  I did my best to find links and or simple answers to these.  If you have better answers, please let me know in the comments below

1. How can I get more powergrid on my ship?

http://www.thonky.com/eve-online-guide/eve-cpu.php
2. How can I control more than 5 drones?

Not with a standard subcap (except the super rare Guardian Vexor)
3. What standings do I need to use level 2 agents?

http://wiki.eveonline.com/en/wiki/Agents#Access_to_Agents  summary answer 3 standing with the agents corp
4. What’s the best ore to mine?

http://www.fuzzwork.co.uk/ore/full.html explore here. decide what risk etc you are willing to take.  as always in Help, the word ‘best’ is a very slippery term.
5. What’s the best ship?

For what?  I swear I cringe every time I see this or one of its variants in the channel.  I honestly do not know how the regular helper I chattted with puts up with this one.
6. What does it mean when a wreck is blue?

It is sad and misses its mommy.  Or it has been abandoned and anybody can loot it without fear of reprisal.  See?  I only got down to question 6 and sarcasm and trolling is starting to kick in.
7. How can I send ISK to my alt?

Find alt using people and places  right click on its link to open the menu up, and click ‘Give money’
8. How should I remap?

Whatever you do, do NOT use an iphone . . . oh wait . . . depends on what you are training.  Look at the skills or better yet use something like evemon that lets you know what would be the best remap to do for your skill plan, you do HAVE a skill plan don’t you?
9. How much is (insert item here) worth?

This is not the price-check channel, go there.  Or go to Eve-central.com
10. How do I use Cap Boosters?

Put them on top of your head before donning the hat to raise the cap higher and . . . oh, those cap boosters.  http://www.eve-search.com/thread/898439-0/page/1#4  well explained but basically you need the module and ammo for it
11. Where has the jukebox gone?

Eve has sound?  It was removed after the 1 millionth time that question was asked.

 

(Mike, at this point was trying chew the restraints off and escape his ‘chair’.  Sedation was called for.  Please feel free to answer the remaining questions while we let him ‘sleep it off’)
12. How do I look at contracts?
13. How can I lock more targets?
14. How do I see my drone control range?
15. I’ve finished the tutorial missions. What do I do now?

 

fly it like you have clue about gnah gnah gnah *snap*  yeeah aha aha aha

m

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4 Responses to Help

  1. Jerod Trd says:

    As A Director in a small corp trying to recruit players and getting a few new players (Green as Grass) these questions are asked, and I approve of mike’s reaction, and his sedation.. sleep it off buddy, it gets much worse.

  2. HardinSalvor says:

    I think I’m still trying to answer #15 myself!

  3. Raziel Walker says:

    I have nothing but admiration for people that can spend their time answering these questions in a useful/helpful manner. Last time I created a new character I spent 2 weeks in that channel and spent some time answering questions but its a lot of repetition of the same questions.
    Question 15 I would answer with a link to http://swiftandbitter.com/eve/wtd/ and asking the person what he would like to do next. Then you can give him advice on how to get there.

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