Three good plans . . . so I take the fourth

The bar was not too busy but he was sure that would change, slowly. He nodded to the people he knew and looked for some of his corp mates. They had pulled a few tables together along with some folks from the alliance and it looked like the party had already started. As the pitcher went around he grabbed a free cup and filled it, sipping he told Kry, “I need permission to ‘pass the hat around’.”

Kry shook her head. Mike always seemed to think that he should let her know what he was up to, then he went wandering off like the Cat he was and did his own thing. “For what?”

“I am thinking of entering the Death Race.” That got all the tables attention. He spent the next few minutes giving variations of his stock answers. “No, I do not expect to win. No, I do not expect to survive, Victoria already offered to kill me in a far less expensive way . . . told me it would be more fun as well. No, I didn’t take her up on it. Yes, you can help.”

“Tell me more about the race.” Kry sat back, the queen listening to the jester.

“OK, in a couple of weeks a group of insane pilots will all pay for the privilege of starting in an unknown system in lowsec, race through nullsec and end somewhere in hisec. After the first system violence between the races will be allowed. Violence from outside of the contestants is expected. No cloaked jumping, no cyno leaps, no capitals, no shuttles, and no T3 strategic cruisers. I plan on joining them having the basic requirement of the 5 Million entrance fee and a complete lack of common sense.”

Mar, down the table grinned. “So, an interceptor is it?”

“I can fly any one of them now and that WAS my first thought.” Mike admitted. “I was out test flying my stiletto, seeing how fast I could make her. Was about to start asking you to practice with me . . . but then i got to thinking.”

“Uh oh.” Mar grinned as he said that.

“Yeah. That rule about violence being encouraged made me think that maybe surviving might be more important than just being fast. The quick ones will be first for the funeral processions and gate camps. Maybe ‘slow and steady’ wins the race might be the philosophy to try.” Mike took a pull from his glass. “So I started looking back to my roots . . . the Drake.”

“A racing Drake? You’re mad!” A pilot pulled up a chair and sat. “The name is Kotacko, I would go with an interceptor if i was entering. Instead i plan on camping the race if it goes near my turf.” He grinned at Mike. “I have read some of your stuff, writers are on my ‘hit list’ so I hope to se you out there.”

Mike grinned. ‘Hopefully for only half a second, or so.”

“A drake will die to a camp. Bubble and watch it waddle, Twenty stealth Bombers and you have pwnage.”

“That assumes twenty stealth bombers are waiting. But I decided against waddling in a running race. Which lead me to my next plan. A disco Typhoon. If I could get to the first jump fast enough i would be the wildcard to end all wildcards.” His grin took a wolfish cast. “They would be sure I would roll it on the first turn and take all their sparkly little interceptors out.”

The table laughed and Mike took an other drink. “So which plan are you going to go with?” Chewy was asking that one.

“None of them. I am asking for the alliance to sponsor me and I am going to ‘represent!'” Mike made a fist and held it high. “I am going to fly a mining ship.”

There was stunned silence for a moment and then the table started laughing. “You almost had me there. I thought you were being serious.” Mar gasped.

Mike roared back. “I am serious. We are miners and makers. I am taking a mining ship into the race. Now I am passing the hat for the ‘Hulkageddon Runaway’ fund and I would appreciate it if you all tossed some isk in to cover basic expenses . . . fittings, fuel, funeral.”

The jug was passed around and drinks were refilled as the groups alternated between trying to convince Mike to take an interceptor and trying to find a mining ship with a chance of making at least two jumps before dying. Chewy was the first to toss two million isk into the fund.



When entering a race or contest decide what YOUR winning conditions are. I am out to stun and amuse. I doubt I will get very far but that does not mean I won’t be trying.

You are welcome to toss some isk towards this project, if you enjoy reading my blog I’d appreciate the help . . . Mike Azariah in-game is already fitting and practicing.

Fair warning. If I talk to you in game there is a distinct chance you might wind up in the blog, one way or the other.

I am trying to find the page in Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas about the inappropriate vehicles that were being considered for the Mint 400


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2 Responses to Three good plans . . . so I take the fourth

  1. The Disco idea is exactly why I will be steering clear of Frigates, gonna be easy to get a disco BS out in front of the contestants on a common gate and spasticaclly kill a bunch of them, though I can hardly wait for the lulz of that.

    I’m still not sure what I will be flying, but you have some good idea’s, maybe nanohulk/covetor or better, battlemammoth or Badger. So many choices. Wonder if “Shuttle” would be best lol

  2. Pingback: Meeting I | A Missioneer in Eve

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